About Shauna Darling Robertson:

Shauna grew up in the north-east of England and now lives in the south-west. Her poems for adults and children have been performed by actors, displayed on buses, used as song lyrics, turned into comic art and made into short films, as well as being published in many and varied anthologies and magazines. Shauna’s first collection for children, Saturdays at the Imaginarium (Troika, 2020), was a National Poetry Day 2021 selection. Her second, You Are Not Alone (Troika, forthcoming in January 2023), focuses on teen and young adult mental health, and has received support from Arts Council England. Shauna has two poetry chapbooks for adults, Blueprints for a Minefield (Fair Acre Press, 2016) and Love Bites (Dancing Girl Press, 2019). www.shaunadarlingrobertson.com

 

Don’t disturb your mother

while she’s busy causing cheese

and forcing self-made sandwiches

to boil, to fry, to freeze.

 

Don’t disrupt your father

while he’s yakking with a horse.

I think they’re talking tackl-ish

(your Dad’s been on a course).

 

Don’t alarm your sister

while she’s cooking quantum cake.

When splitting chocolate atoms

it’s essential not to shake.

 

Don’t distract your brother

while he’s counting underwater

and trying hard to work out who’s

his grandma’s auntie’s daughter.

 

Don’t annoy your uncle

while he’s cycling in a skirt.

For sure, his knees are nobbled

but don’t say so (he’ll be hurt).

 

Don’t bother any one of us,

or ask us any stuff.

And please don’t be nonsensical.

This family’s odd enough.